I Be Done Seen About Everything

I won’t be too detailed about the inside of my mouth, because nobody wants to know; least of all me. Let me just say that I lost sleep for two nights in a row because my jaw felt like it was going to explode and shoot a rocket of poison right into my brain. No lie.

This was Sunday and Monday. After night two of relatively no sleep, I decided something had to be done. No I don’t have insurance. No I don’t have money. Something would have to give, because otherwise the pain would drive me to options I don’t usually consider. Such as hijacking a bus so I could drive off a cliff.

Lucky for me I know modern-day witch doctors. My co-worker, Claudia, took pity on me Tuesday. After feeling my swollen glands (get your heads out of the gutter, people, that’s not a euphemism), she declared that she had a remedy for me. I was to grill a clove of garlic, wrap it in cotton and put it in my ear overnight. She said that by morning I would feel better.

I did! Although I did experience some twinges and pain during the day yesterday – with clove in ear, I was able to sleep an uninterrupted 7 hours the night before. And today? No pain… just a little tenderness. In fact, I did go to the dentist yesterday. They only xrayed one small part of my mouth, but could not find infection. Srsly. Not possible. My head and neck seriously were so full of toxicness that I was positive that I was merely a hop, skip and a jump away from imminent death.

The dental assistant said it sounded like a placebo thing. You know, I think it helps, so it does? Fine. Whatever. Does it matter if it works? Besides I prefer to think of that lil feather… which, subsequently, has put that When I See an Elephant Fly song in my head.


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First of all let me say… where the hell have I been? Under a rock. Should it have come as a surprise to me that Tom Cruise was in Tropic Thunder at this point? But the awesome thing is that it did!

I’m not surprising anyone by telling them that current events are not one of my strong suits. But if it’s new/news to me, you might be revisiting some stuff that you already knew about. Ahhhh how great to relive some wonderful things… right? And what can I say? I’ve never been accused of being relevant, for goodness sake!

After reading the very unauthorized biography – Hey, I didn’t buy it… but I did borrow it – I’d lost all lust faith in Tom Cruise. To say he’s crazytown is a bit redundant. Interesting, yes, but a little bit scary to realize that there are human live people who could be so desperate as to fall for some of the blah blah of a “religion” that shall not be named because my lawyer advised against it.

Tom Cruise has been like my older brother’s hot friend my whole life. When he was younger, I thought he’s kinda cute and he’ll totally grow into that nose. Top Gun made his beak hot and all was well.

It was at about Jerry Maguire time that he had totally grown into that sniffer…

and then I think he completely outgrew it and it was all downhill from there. Or reading all that stuff made his nose totally unforgivable. I’m not sure. One thing is for certain, I did not think I’d see him play a role like Les Grossman. So, for right now, he’s kinda forgiven… not so forgiven that he can toy with my heart once again… but in the way that it’s ok for my brother to be friends with him again.

One more thing because it made me giggle…

Things That Make Me Go Ooooh, vol. 1

This will be a weekly (hopefully) installment of what I’m loving currently. It should vary and be forgotten shortly after… I’m mercurial like that.

Wild Scarlet by Victoria’s Secret

Topping the list this week of things I don’t need but MUST have is Victoria Secret’s newest nose candy, Wild Scarlet. In dire want of new body products, I wandered in to the local shop and was immediately smitten with the alluring Scarlet. From her position on the shiny display, she beckoned to me with her vivid coloring. I’ve always been a slave to the reds… and not just red red, but red in all it’s various shades and names. One whiff and I was sure. With the scents of Juicy Apple (not just any old apple), Lily, and sheer musk, I just knew that I could start a whole new life for myself smelling of freshness and sunshine. Plus, the red containers would go so nicely with the decor of my bathroom. You had me at scarlet.

Stupid Bitch

A photo can hardly contain her, but I’ve had the pleasure of reconnecting with a dear friend I like to call Stupid Bitch. Technically, I stole that title from her. It’s a term of endearment I heard her use when talking to her daughter and she’s hailed me as one as well for the better part of a week. I’m honored to have passed muster to be included and thrilled to be laughing with her frequently again.

Wakerupper (dot) com

Oh my goodness who knew you could find a FREE wake up call service on the interwebs?? Well, now you do! Wakerupper.com is a life and job saver! Somehow there is no option for multiple alarms on my blackberry and most mornings require just a smidge more than one. Yes, it’s the little things that excite me, but sometimes the little things will do.

Cocktail Rings

I did not start out as a collector, but seems as though I’ve become one haha. When just any ordinary normal size ring won’t do… go cocktail! I love love love these rings and keep up a steady intake of them each time I fall in love with a new one. Sure, they snag stuff, sure they turn my fingers some awful shade of greenish black… but in the end, dammit, people notice me and my obscenely gorgeous finger frosting!

What’s in a name?

Obviously everything!

I find myself immobilized by my inability to pick a post title. Uncharacteristically for me, I want my first post to be one that details my current favorites. I’d like for it to be a weekly post (or biweekly or tri w/e) depending on if I ever come back to post again. And it needs a catchy title. Oh woe is me I can’t think of one that isn’t both cheesy and just plain confusing.

More coming as soon as I think of a catchy, not too cheesy, weekly schtick.